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B*llocks

This is that part of the blog where our writers can let their imaginations run wild and write whatever nonsense they like (football themed of course). From the time that Sir Alex Ferguson was caught punching a child to the time Roy Hodgson threatened to play James Milner as a punishment to England’s fans, this section is all of course complete b*llocks.
Anything you read below will be completely fabricated and made up, with the aim of bringing a smile to your face. We welcome submissions from fans too – just send us your made-up story and we’ll see about getting it posted online.

A Dab of Humble Pie.

Paul Pogba

Paul Pogba spent the days and hours building up to Manchester United’s titanic clash against the old enemy Liverpool on twitter, unveiling a shiny new emoji of himself and another unique hair cut. He was then largely anonymous for the ninety minutes, bar the bonkers ten seconds in which he lost track of Dejan Lovren, jumped aimlessly in the air, unleashed …

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The 48 Team World Cup: What to Expect.

Today news broke that FIFA has decided, by unanimous vote, to completely overhaul the current format of the Worlds greatest footballing showpiece. All you need to know about this new, mega-World Cup can be found here: http://footyblog.net/things-can-get-bigger-pros-cons-new-expanded-world-cup/ With so many changes to take in, here at Footyblog we have come up with seven things you can expect from the new, sparkly …

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An Unspecial Time for The Special One.

I think it would be safe to say that Jose Mourinho has had happier periods during his illustrious managerial career than that which he is experiencing now. His sparkling new Manchester United side are stuttering, he has been sent off more than Sergio Ramos this season and he is yet to settle in a home he can call his own …

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5 Things to Do During an International Break.

Yes, dear friends, it is that dreaded time again. A gloomy, unforgiving time. A painful two week period hidden in plain sight on any footballing calendar. A time that lurks ominously in the background, watching as we joyously indulge in the marvel of club football, waiting for its time to strike. We all knew it was coming, we knew months …

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Roberto Martinez Appointed Belgium Manager

footy news blog

Stunning news broke today of an inspiring move as Roberto Martinez was named as Marc Wilmots’ replacement as head coach of the Belgian national squad. Wilmots called time on his tenure in charge of the Belgians after they were bundled out of the European Championships by Wales. Many names have been linked with the Belgian hot seat, but there was always …

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Pep Guardiola Out To Catch Em All

Pep Guardiola manager

Manchester City coach Pep Guardiola is over the moon after catching his Second Jesus for the team. City confirmed the signing of Gabriel Jesus from Palmerias this afternoon in a reported £27 Million deal. However, the 19 Year Old Brazilian will not join up with his new team mates until December. That has not stopped Pep Guardiola beaming with delight …

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Pogba Transfer Saga Takes New Twist

footy news blog

The transfer saga of the summer has taken another twist after it was revealed that Chelsea owner, Roman Abromavich, is prepared to offer his multi-million pound yacht as part of a deal to sign Paul Pogba. The yacht,  The Eclipse, is a 533 foot monster, and is officially the largest in the world. This new development has left initial favourites …

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Jamie Vardy spotted fighting with French children

A shocking video has revealed the England and Leicester striker appearing to drop kick a child, reported to be seven years old. According to witnesses on the scene, the fight broke out after Vardy found out that France were members of the European Union. The striker reportedly attempted to burn a hanging flag of the EU, but couldn’t due to …

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Roy Keane Threatens Ireland Walk Out if Fans Good Behaviour Continues

Roy Keane

Republic of Ireland coach Roy Keane has today sensationally threatened that he will walk out (again) on the Ireland camp if fan’s well-documented good-behaviour continues to take place. To date Irish fans have been spotted: Changing the tires on an old French couples car Loudly cheering (and booing) a confused old man as he stood at his balcony Clearing up …

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Roy Hodgson Threatens to start James Milner if English fans continue to Misbehave

Hodgson England

England manager Roy Hodgson appears to have lost patience with English fans following their recently reported violence on the streets of Lille. Having already made a joint appeal with England captain Wayne Rooney, urging fans to behave following UEFA’s threat to disqualify England from the Euro 2016 tournament along with Russia, it appears that Roy has chosen to “go nuclear” …

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